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One of the things to appreciate about the pandemic is the opportunity it presents to speak openly about mental health issues. Today, there is more of knowing that words like anxiety, depression, or panic attacks, are common vocabulary and topics with which many of us grapple.
But how can we help and understand the little ones better at home? The first thing is that you know your emotions and feelings and control your anxiety. It is without a doubt the best way to make your children feel safe. If you or your children are feeling worried, learning to manage their anxiety healthily will help your entire family become more resilient, not just now but also when the pandemic finally ends.
Learn to tolerate uncertainty
«Treatment for anxiety is not making fear go away. It is controlling fear and tolerating uncertainty,» explains Dr. Jerry Bubrick, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. So, children who have been in treatment act as if they have a natural immune response against the uncertainty. They have prepared for this and can now use their abilities.
The coronavirus is not affecting them as much as those of us not used to dealing with that uncertainty.
According to experts, many parents experience more difficulty dealing with post-Covid-19 stress when comparing to their children, and some of the anxiety children experience has been inadvertently transmitted by overstressed parents.
As parents, we need to set an example of how they should react to stressful events by healthily managing anxiety. «I think we need to be aware of being present and staying focused on what is going on and not get carried away by fatalistic attitudes,» recommends Dr. Bubrick. If you teach your children catastrophic thinking and that immediate worry, crying, and fear are your first response, your kids will learn that this is the best way to deal with an issue.
How to stay calm?
Take care of the information to which you have access. While it is good to stay informed and know what is most important to keep your family safe, it is also essential that your reading is helping. Among so many facts and opinions, it is easy to get lost.
Consider putting a limit on the amount of news and articles you read or how much time you spend informing yourself about the coronavirus and other news each day. It is one thing to be well informed and another thing to overexpose yourself. Make sure that your consumption and sources of information are not the sources of your anxiety.
Focus on what you are doing right now. Make sure you are in the present and living every moment. Practicing mindfulness alone or with your children is often a great practice that provides the tools to help them stay calm and act assertively.
Trust the routines
Establishing a routine that includes exercise and other physical activities, regular meals and healthy portions, and regular sleep schedules is crucial to controlling our moods and worries. Due to COVID-19 and the precautions it has taken for children, this may seem impossible. Yet, finding new ways to adapt and start a new routine will make them feel less anxious and more productive.
Life goes on. It is paramount to keep moving forward, create, schedule, and set goals.
Attention to the little ones
When children feel anxious, this may or may not be apparent to parents. There are many ways they show it. These include:
- A constant search for reassurance (questions like: are we going to be okay? Is grandpa going to be okay?).
- Reluctance to separate from parents.
- Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches.
- Tantrums or fits.
- Difficulty to sleep.
For many children, especially the youngest ones, it is not always easy to express what they feel. A helpful tool can be an emotional chart, which you can easily find on the internet, or even use a traffic light to talk about their emotions, and intensities. In these, the red light would be that they feel overwhelmed or overwhelmed, the yellow one is that they feel somewhat worried, and the green light says that everything is fine.
For teens, Dr. Bubrick recommends talking about yourself first. You can say something like, ‘I read this article today, and it made me wonder about this and that. Have you seen anything about it?’ And, what do you think?.
Tools to help children with anxiety problems
Help structure your day
As parents, it is easy to think that setting limits for a child is a way to make our lives easier for us when the reality is that they do wonders for them. It is easy for little ones to get bored or complacent if they have no structure and become easy prey for anxiety.
Make sure to create a structure in their daily schedule when they are home.
Alternate between homework and homework some more fun activities and rest periods. By relaxing restraints, explain the importance of maintaining a healthy distance even from family members and outdoors.
Take advantage of video calls and other tools to coordinate exercise groups and other opportunities for you to socialize with friends.
Avoid giving them too many security reassurances
Dr. Bubrick advises parents of kids of all ages to avoid falling into a cycle of giving too much reassurance. Kids can become dependent on these and will want to hear them more often and need more impact. And when the father cannot provide what the kid is looking for, anxiety will only worsen.
Instead, remind your kids of what they can do to take care of themselves: such as wash their hands, avoid kissing hello, and stay home and encourage them to stay focused on the present.
They look up to you. Model how to be calm
Do not share your concerns with your children, either intentionally or carelessly. Find new ways to calm yourself down. Remember that by the time this is over, you and your children will have learned new things. Think about what will they think of the way you handled this situation? They will think, Wow! I am impressed by how mom and dad kept their cool, or will they think the world is a scary place.
Finally, talking about the good things about this pandemic, think of all time you spend with your family and what you have learned from them.
And for you and yours, what do you appreciate most about this time?
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